Board I'm on.... Dude, that's the contract that we have been working on for months.
Well, it's a big contract and it's complex, so let me assure you that it's not good enough to simply read it. We had to hire a lot of really expensive lawyers to help us write it. That said, once the contract becomes public, I will enter into the record my dog eared, coffee stained, Post It Note covered copy as evidence that I did indeed read the dang thing.
By now, you should be asking yourself two questions. First. How could we have ever thought that Patterson who is totally OCD would vote on the Contract without reading it?
Your second question should be. "Dude, isn't that picture like SERIOUSLY airbrushed?"
To the first question, my answer is simply "shame on you." To the second question, I must concede that I am indeed seriously airbrushed. I kind of like it. I have the smooth skin that I had in elementary school without the center parted hair or the Mod Squad paisley pants. And my gosh, look at those teeth. I still have that fang-like appearance on account me being born with out Lateral Incisors--I go from Central Incisors straight to Canines, but that shouldn't surprise anyone who knows me--but look how white they are. Wow, thirty years of coffee abuse erased with a few strokes of a mouse.
Please don't think less of me for my Airbrush fantasy. After all, it's the politician's prerogative to doctor a picture until it has no bearing on reality.
Hey, I think we actually look alike in those pictures. Now that's technological advancement!