Hey Mister Wanna Buy a Paper II

Earlier this week, I speculated that the Republic could be up for sale soon.  Gannett owns both Channel 12 and the Republic and my understanding is that the ownership rules would need to be relaxed in order for that relationship to be maintained--an unlikely prospect with a Democratic Congress. 

Since then, I've reported on two events that have rocked Gannett.  First, Standard and Poor's cited increasing weakness in the entire newspaper sector and downgraded Gannett's debt.  Then the entire industry was rocked by the sale of the Minneapolis Star Tribune for half of the price that McClatchy paid for it a mere eight years ago. 

Gannett acquired the Republic about eight years ago.  Arizona is the fastest growing state in the nation, yet the Republic's circulation has continued to decline.  No one knows how much Gannett has lost on the Republic, but it's likely to be in the hundreds of millions.

Since I'm speculating, I might as well go further out on this limb and suggest a possible buyer.  Dan Quayle.

Many folks don't realize Dan Quayle's connection to Arizona and to the Arizona Republic.  Eugene Pulliam, the newspaper magnate who founded Central Newspapers Inc. and owned the Arizona Republic together with a dozen newspapers, was Dan Quayle's grandfather. 

Dan Quayle's family moved to Arizona in 1955 so that Quayle's father James could run the Republic.  Dan attended Kiva elementary school...which is where my kids attend now.

Under Pulliam's ownership, the Arizona Republic was robust and Conservative.  Today it's...well...not.

So what's Dan Quayle doing now?  He's buying companies, cutting costs and making a profit. 

Here's how Business Week describes Quayle's career.

...in his second incarnation -- as a globetrotting business leader working with some of the sharpest investors around -- James Danforth Quayle, 58, has proved his friends right. He has carved out a winning role as chairman of global investments for Cerberus Capital Management.

Money wouldn't be a problem.  In addition to Quayle's connections, there are plenty conservative investors who would be interested in wholesale changes at the Republic. 

But who would run the paper?  Is there a conservative out there who has media experience, political experience and is currently looking for work, someone who knows the internal working of the paper and would be able to separate the dead wood from the productive branches, someone who Dan Quayle knows and could trust to Publish the paper, someone who could really whip the paper into shape and halt its long decline,  someone who could, dare I say it, act like a bully for long enough to get things back on track?  No, I can't think of anyone either. 

I was intrigued by the name of Dan Quayle's investement company.  After all, what kind of name would you pick for an investment firm that acquires weak companies in struggling sectors and makes the hard changes that internal management would never make.  What do you call a company that dramatically cuts costs, changes management and shakes things up?  After all, to survive, indeed thrive, in the investment world, your company need to be tough and the name should reflect that. 

Quayle's company is called Cerberus.  You know Cerberus...the three-headed dog that guards the entrance to Hades in order to ensure that the dead can't leave and the living can't enter.  You may be hearing a lot about Cerberus in the future. 

Comments

[The Klute]

Well, if Quayle does buy it, I hope they get a good copy editor.

[Kirly]

Well, if Quayle buys the AZ Repugnant and JD gets involved in the turn around, I might just restore my subscription. If not, I'll continue to get only the Sunday paper and that's only for the ads and coupons.

Otherwise, let the decline continue.

[Travis]

Klute beautifully illustrates the logic of the left. He believes that owners of papers write the stories. That's only on the Left, dude...

Here on the Right, where we do not live the megalomaniac, narcisstic lives the Left does, the newspaper owner would hire people to do that and let them do their job. Whereas the George Soros- and Barbra Streisand-types must insert themselves into everything and every part of their business, including other people's businesses. Watch and learn Klutie...

[Karen of Scottsdale]

Greg -- I love your imagination!

[Geoff]

I'd love to watch Jon Talton spontaneously combust upon the announcement of such a sale.

[The Klute]

Travis,

You forgot to work in "San Francisco-values", "the blame America first crowd" and "Billary-loving".

Go back and try again.

[BobH]

Do you really consider being a sportscaster to be "media experience" that qualifies someone to be publisher of a major newspaper?

[Travis]

Klutie Pie,

I'll see your three phrases and raise you an "it's for the children". By the way, I still have a "shut up and sing" and a "global warming scenario for all occasions arising from any capitalistic venture" up my sleeve. I would, however, like to save at least one obvious answer for your next posting. Thanks for understanding.

[Ray G]

Hmm, looks like I need to touch up my editorial cartoon portfolio. I'd like to be walking in the door as Benson was walking out. I wouldn't trip him, but I'd be thinking about it. :)

[Ray G]

Yeah, I think JD's media experience would qualify. Especially considering his time in Washington. I think he'd do great.

[scmorrison]

Cerberus bought all the Albertsons stores in Arizona.

[netrootsdemocrat]

I should sue Quayle. I have a Chihuahua that was born on June 6, 2006. 666. I named him Cerberus because Damien was too obvious.

My Chihuahua is mean enough to guard the gates of hell, let me tell ya.